A family of three tomatoes
A family of three tomatoes were walking downtown one day when the little baby tomato started lagging behind. The big father tomato walks back to the baby tomato, stomps on her, squashing her into a red paste, and says, "Ketchup!"
A survey about cooking
About 85% of women are responsible for cooking the family dinner, and 84% wish they didn't have to.
An apple a day
If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, what does an onion do? Keeps everyone away.
Why did Eve want to leave the garden of Eden and move to New York ? She fell for the Big Apple!
Johnny: Daddy, are caterpillars good to eat?
Father: Have I not told you never to mention such things during meals!
Mother: Why did you say that, Junior? Why did you ask the question?
Johnny: It's because I saw one on daddy's lettuce, but now it's gone.